Narcissus' Echo

Thoughts, tears, rants, ruminations, hopes, fears, love(s), and prayers of just another being passing through this wracked sphere...

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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Father's Day

So, it's Father's Day. Where is your Dad? Mine is half way across the planet in Singapore. I sent him two cards: one, thanking him for being there as my mentor, friend, and protector (and what a fierce protector he has been, and is still); and the other, thanking him for sponsoring me in all my crazy adventures while I was growing up. E.g. scaling mountains in Malaysia (solo and otherwise), Indonesia; cycling 1500 km around Java; cycling up to Kuantan, and Penang (from Singapore); my recreational (and later, technical) scuba diving; rockclimbing; those piano lessons which I sought to escape each and every time (and which not a day passes where I cease regreting not putting in more effort while the opportunity was available); and, of course, the craziest adventure of all by far--life (and love) in a foreign land, etc.

I think being a father to a son is a daunting task. There are so many places to slip and fall. If you are too protective, your son could grow up spoilt, dependent, a total wimp. If you are too domineering, always having your way because you are the alpha male, he could grow up insecure, submissive, and taken advantage of by his contemporaries; or, he might actually mirror you and become a copy of you towards his contemporaries (which still leaves the issue of who is the alpha male in the family).

Being a mentor, protector and leader are extremely difficult roles. We observe the best models in great professors, teachers, instructors. Being a father ups the ante even more as your charge isn't someone who goes away after a few years, with a parting gift of gratitude, and an occasional Christmas card in the mail in the years thereafter, but someone who is your son, your creation, your "better" copy and, for some, the only claim to immortality--posterity.

I don't ask for perfection; I am happy with his presence.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.


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