Narcissus' Echo

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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Monday, June 06, 2005

Tech Support

Joe M. posted the following on a forum I frequent.
Someone give the tech support guy a medal!
(Please don't comment that you don't know what Word Perfect is: it makes me feel old).

This has got to be one of the funniest incidents I've heard in a long
time. This guy should have been promoted, not fired. This story comes
from the "WordPerfect Help line," which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the Customer Care Department.

Needless to say, the Helpdesk employee was fired. However, he is
currently suing the WordPerfect Organization for "termination without
cause." This is the actual dialogue of the former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee. (Now you will know why they record these

"Rich Hall, computer assistance; how may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"It's blank. It won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor. I told you it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a little light that tells you when its on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over."
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."
"Well, turn on the light then."
"I can't."
"No? why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power..a power failure?..Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go and get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."


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