Narcissus' Echo

Thoughts, tears, rants, ruminations, hopes, fears, love(s), and prayers of just another being passing through this wracked sphere...

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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Long legs, and postal workers from hell

It is interesting that Eve brought up the issue of bermudas. Luckily for her, I do not think bermudas (or shorts, for that matter) suit me. I have rather long legs. How long? Well, my measured inseam is 34 inches (86.5 cm). Berms often look like shorts on me, and shorts look like swimming trunks, and swimming trunks look like... let's not go there.

Here's a little bit of real-life humor that took place at the local post office when I was mailing out some fancy cards:

CLERK: Why are these envelopes so thick? [Clenches her fist and proceeds to pound each envelope flat] *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*

BEN: Umm... WHAT are you doing?

CLERK: You might be charged 60 cents a piece if they are too thick. Let me see if I can make them thinner. *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*

BEN: There are two envelopes inside each envelope and they are EMBOSSED. I will gladly pay the extra difference per envelope. Please stop doing that.

CLERK: You sure? I could be saving you money here. *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*

BEN: Yes, I am absolutely sure. Stop! Stop! Stop! I PAID to have them embossed. You are flattening them!

CLERK: Oops! Too late. It's all done. See? I saved you money. [Smiles] Now, is there anything else I can help you with today? Do you need any stamps? Phone cards?

BEN: *mutter* *mutter*

6 PM, and I haven't started on 1/2 the work slated for today. I don't think I can make it to mass tonite. Even if some sort of miracle happens, and I complete the work within the next 2 hours, I still do not have fresh presentable clothes to attend (See, Eve? I do dress up occasionally). Kinda bummed about that. Today is Pentecost too. But work needs to be done. I have to get my priorities right.

I am really pissed off by Newsweek . Their poor standards of journalism have resulted in much damage and loss of life . I wonder where are the howls of outrage and protests from the liberals? Somehow, they are strangely quiet. (Are they all getting stoned on pot and celebrating the prospect of more troop deaths?) Instead, they seem to be more outraged by President Vicente Fox's comment . Talk about screwed up priorities. No wonder this country is going to hell in a handbasket.

So I ate my own words and decided to go for practice and mass instead. And boy, was I glad I went. The songs were rather difficult tonight: with the majority of them in Latin or Spanish, but they were all beautiful. One of them was "Ubi Caritas." Ubi caritas, deus ibi est... (live in charity and God will live in you).

Something funny happened tonight. You see, there is this gentleman by the name of Greg, who is in charge of the entire music ensemble. Besides syncing those playing the instruments with the choir, he conducts the latter, as well as sing the male lead alto. Anyways, following the usual practice, we sing "Alleluia" while the presiding priest for the night, Father Locatelli (who is also the president of the university), takes this sprig of leaves to sprinkle holy water on the laity, blessing them. When he passed Greg, standing there on the podium conducting, he intentionally doused Greg's head with so much water, half of his head was drenched and dripping.

We could see Father Locatelli snickering as he continued on his way. (For those not in the know, the president of our university has a reputation as a prankster). With the microphones right before us, it took a supreme effort of willpower not to laugh or let it affect our singing as Greg struggled to maintain composure and look through the streams of water running down his face. To steal a word from MasterCard: priceless.

Scraped my Supra against the sidewall of the carport as I pulled in. @^*&!!! $$$!!! Oh well...

(Yes, Eve. I found some fresh presentable clothes, if you must know...)


Blogger daftbitch said...

do u even think the chick is gonna look hot if she's in like say "spring break 2002 --- cancun, been there, done that... and a list of nasty things", and of cos, raggardy shorts????

Like i said, clothes maketh a man.
I can look gorgeous if i bother to dress nicely...

5:13 AM  
Blogger -ben said...

Yep, I think a lady would "look hot" regardless of the attire she is wearing (or not). That point of view came from observing too many empty-headed trophy wives in $$$$$ dresses and accessories chattering and bitching in exclusive cafes to count.

TROPHY WIFE 1: [Getting off cellphone] Oh my lord, can you believe it? We have a crisis here. Marla says she has a personal emergency to attend to and she can't give me my pedicure this afternoon. I have garden party at 5. What will I do? Oh, the humanity!

*roll eyes*

I believe that brains make the man.

As for you, you look gorgeous whether you dress up nicely or not, babe. It is just a matter of "gorgeous" vesus "extremely gorgeous." That said though, I love it when my date dresses up. Ow la la! Eye candy! Who cares what they are serving for dinner?

3:20 PM  

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