Good Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, Titanic, by David M. Lubin, and My Life, by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories.

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:


Titanic..... $29.99
Clinton..... $29.99

Titanic..... Over 3 hours to read.
Clinton..... Over 3 hours to read.

Titanic..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton..... Let's not go there.

Titanic..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there either.

Titanic..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton..... Bill goes home to Hilary--basically the same thing.


Props to BASH.