Severe myopia

Driving back home on the freeway one evening, I noticed a Volvo on my left. The rear of his vehicle was plastered with bumper stickers with empty slogans such as: "Support our troops! Bring them home!" "Impeach Bush!" "Support Air America!" Suddenly, without using his blinkers, the driver cut right across my lane, and then hit the brakes so that he could get behind the cars on my right.

When I finally pulled up beside him, guess what was apparent? The fool was on his cell phone.




I rolled down my passenger side window, honked, and when Mr. Oblivious'n'Obnoxious turned to look, I yelled, "FORGET WORLD PEACE, YOU FUCKING HIPPIE! LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!"




As the words registered, the other driver exhibited this look of utter shock and awe. Within moments, they were replaced by a look of deep offense as he took the exit.

Man, did that feel good...


Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer (Samuel Langhorne Clemens).